About Love and Loss
One night on the fall of 2005, I met Luis. I decided to finally join a friend who was meeting with a group of Peruvian friends. We went out to a Latin club in Downtown, Philadelphia. As my friend and I walked to the club, there was Luis. He was standing on the corner of 2nd and Market Street. I could only see his profile, but the first thing that crossed my mind was ‘wow, what an attractive guy.’
When I met Luis I had a boyfriend, but he had just moved to another state to get his Master’s degree and by then things were cooling off; I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship at the time and neither was Luis since he had just gotten a divorce a few months before.
After a few months of talking and going out dancing, Luis invited me out for dinner to an Italian restaurant. When he came to pick me up, he got out of his car and he was wearing a suit since he was coming straight from work and he opened the door for me – which I thought was so chivalrous, not something that you find very easily.
I was attracted to him ever since the moment I met him; not just physically, but his personality as well. He was outgoing, positive, hilarious, and since we were both Peruvian we were able to speak in Spanish and enjoy our culture as if we were at home. The more we went out and spent time together, the more we fell in love.
One night, we were watching the movie “Fools Rush In” and the Elvis Presley song “It’s now or never” was playing. Suddenly, he left and came back with two dozens of red roses, kneeled down and told me: “It’s now or never,” and he asked me to marry him. I was actually expecting it because Luis was not very good with surprises, he would always give himself away so easily! We got married on 2008 and we welcomed our beautiful daughter Samantha the following year. Three years later, our son Liam was born.
A few days before Liam turned one, Luis died unexpectedly late at night. He was thirty-six. I couldn’t understand how a healthy young man who had been an athlete for most of his life could die like that, without any warning. The autopsy report says that he died due to a heart condition called dilated cardiomyopathy, and that unfortunately death is the first sign of this illness. Luis had ran a half marathon almost two weeks prior. I couldn’t say good-bye to him that night. He came home late from work, he had just driven back from New York where he had met with a client, and I was asleep by the time he arrived.
My life has changed dramatically since Luis’s passing, especially the way I see life. I’ve realized that the moment to enjoy life and the people you love is now.
The hardest part to deal with is watching my kids grow up without their father who loved them so very much. When Liam tells me that he wants his father to be here so that he can play with him, or when Samantha tells me that she wants to go to heaven to be able to see her Daddy, that breaks my heart.
I get all of my strength to keep going from my kids. They are watching me carefully at all times to see how I react to the challenges that we face. I think that if they see me calm then they will feel calm, too. I also pray to God to give me strength, health, and a lot of patience.
Luis lives in our hearts and I feel his presence in my children who are so much like him. To us, he’s only gone on a long trip and when the time comes we will all reunite and we will be able to be together again, all four of us as a family.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Evelyn is a happy Mommy of two active kids and a Beachbody Coach. Her goal is to help others achieve their health & fitness goals and hopefully build a long lasting friendship. You can follow her on Instagram @fit_strong_balanced_mom and Facebook.